Dealing with difficult behaviors

Most of us who live with a family member who suffered a TBI are dealing with some form of their impaired memory. At the beginning of their recovery, it is difficult to know the extensiveness of the impairment. In time, a lot of healing will take place and may even take several years. During that time the whole family will learn how to compensate for the deficit. Many will return to activities and jobs and a normal family life. For some of us who take care of a TBI it is a totally different story. It took a year for my daughter to physically recover most of her physical problems. Loss of her short term memory and social skills has been more difficult to deal with. Her long term memory seems to be in place but without a short term memory there is no way to access it. So social skills are not available and we must constantly remind her of what is and is not appropriate behavior. It very difficult to teach a person new and appropriate behavior when the memory is about two minutes long. We have tried many different strategies during the time she has been living with us and nothing seemed to work. Often it felt as if her rebellious nature and natural stubbornness were getting in the way. Although, she had lost so much of “whom” she used to be, this could be the only way she has any control of her life. So finding a consequence for the inappropriate behaviors that would make an impact on her has been very frustrating. My son finally came up with an idea, and, it seems to be helping, at least at home. When the behavior is inappropriate at home she gets two warnings, explaining the behavior that is unacceptable and the third time she will be sent outside for an indefinite period of time. So far, we explain the consequences and she will change or stop the behavior. Now, I am looking for some way to remind her when we are out without being so obvious to those around us. If you have ideas please send them to me. I really dread taking her out at times because it almost seems she knows I am more vulnerable and will give in rather then have her suffer a consequence that is immediate. Help!!