Dealing with difficult behaviors

Most of us who live with a family member who suffered a TBI are dealing with some form of their impaired memory. At the beginning of their recovery, it is difficult to know the extensiveness of the impairment. In time, a lot of healing will take place and may even take several years. During that time the whole family will learn how to compensate for the deficit. Many will return to activities and jobs and a normal family life. For some of us who take care of a TBI it is a totally different story. It took a year for my daughter to physically recover most of her physical problems. Loss of her short term memory and social skills has been more difficult to deal with. Her long term memory seems to be in place but without a short term memory there is no way to access it. So social skills are not available and we must constantly remind her of what is and is not appropriate behavior. It very difficult to teach a person new and appropriate behavior when the memory is about two minutes long. We have tried many different strategies during the time she has been living with us and nothing seemed to work. Often it felt as if her rebellious nature and natural stubbornness were getting in the way. Although, she had lost so much of “whom” she used to be, this could be the only way she has any control of her life. So finding a consequence for the inappropriate behaviors that would make an impact on her has been very frustrating. My son finally came up with an idea, and, it seems to be helping, at least at home. When the behavior is inappropriate at home she gets two warnings, explaining the behavior that is unacceptable and the third time she will be sent outside for an indefinite period of time. So far, we explain the consequences and she will change or stop the behavior. Now, I am looking for some way to remind her when we are out without being so obvious to those around us. If you have ideas please send them to me. I really dread taking her out at times because it almost seems she knows I am more vulnerable and will give in rather then have her suffer a consequence that is immediate. Help!!

Kittens-Feelings and a Walk

Its an early Sunday morning and cold. Had to get up and check our new additions three new kittens. A somewhat feral cat I have been taking care of decided under my stairs would be the safest place for them, but not for our studio. Now they live in my bathroom which mom didn't like and took one and escaped to the big out doors. That left me with three in and one out in the bushes, well I brought it back, but she later took another one. It is still out and I wonder if it survived. That leaves me to now. I did'nt want to go back to bed and wanted something hot to drink so heated up a half cup of milk put a little coffee on top and tne memories flooded over me. I was taken back to when I was a little girl and hated milk so my father would take some of his coffee and put it in my milk and I thought it was the best thing I ever had. Some memories leave you with such warm feeling, what a way to start a day. We have our "Freedom House" board meeting on the 25th, and are planning a mile and a half walk in March. We share the money we make, and use our portion to support our mailings and supplies to help get us started. I well keep it posted when I have more information. Hope you all have a great day I know I will.